


We All Have Monsters

by ThisStrangeObsession



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But Their Friendship Is The Best, Extended Scene, Not Shipping Nat/Bruce, The Avengers (2012) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18879619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisStrangeObsession/pseuds/ThisStrangeObsession
Summary: Dr. Bruce Banner had spent years running from his demons, but when SHIELD agent Natasha Romanov tracks him down in Calcutta with an offer he can't refuse, he learns he's not only one battling a monster within.Or: What happened on the way to the Helicarrier.





	We All Have Monsters

Bruce couldn’t breathe.

Between the hot Indian night, the cramped armored truck, and the stifling presence of five rifle-toting S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on either side of him, the doctor was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Hate and fear – and yes, _anger_ – simmered just beneath the surface, but they were nothing he hadn’t dealt with before. He’d managed to keep them in check for over a year, and as Natasha had said, he had no intention of breaking that streak. But if even one of these nervous guards started to look potentially trigger-happy, he wouldn’t be given that choice.

“Is the armed escort really necessary?” he asked.

Natasha glanced up from the bench across the narrow metal box. “It’s for your safety.”

“Trapping me in a tiny space where I feel threatened is the _opposite_ of safe,” Bruce replied. “You don’t need to worry about my safety. But I’m worried about yours.”

The red-haired agent paused a moment and nodded, bringing her hand to her ear.

“Stop the truck,” Natasha said, speaking into her comm. unit, and looked to the others. “Get out. All of you.”

The vehicle halted and the door opened, but the agent nearest the exit didn’t move. “Ma’am, we can’t leave you alone with the…”

“With the prisoner?” Bruce finished for him. It was better than any other name the agent could have used; all of them would’ve meant _monster._

“You’re not a prisoner,” Natasha said.

“Then what am I?”

“A consultant.” Natasha fixed her lethal gaze on the agent. “Leave. That’s an order.”

They obeyed, filing out of the truck and closing the doors behind them. The vehicle drove on.

“Thank you,” Bruce said, but it rang hollow. He had a feeling she’d brought in the armed guards just to gain his trust by making them leave. This wasn’t a concession – it was the set-up for an interrogation. And both of them knew it.

“Now it really is just you and me,” she replied with a calculated smile, folding her arms.

Bruce pointed to her ear. “And whoever’s on the other end of that.”

Natasha removed the comm. unit and set it on the bench beside her. Bruce settled back against the reinforced steel wall, grateful for the extra room now that the agents had gone, but he couldn’t bring himself to relax, no matter how much he wished he could – for both their sakes.

“So,” Natasha began, with the same wariness as their earlier standoff. “How long does it take?”

“The change?” he asked, and Natasha nodded. “Why? So you can figure out a way to take me down if I lose control?”

“I’d rather not see that happen in the first place,” she replied.

Bruce glanced at the floor. Sharing his secrets with a spy didn’t seem like the best idea, but in the interest of her safety, it was best to lay some cards on the table. He could still keep a few tricks up his sleeve.

“The first time I was shot, I didn’t feel any pain. Nothing,” he said. “The bullet didn’t even pierce the epidermis before...”

 _So it’s a good thing she didn’t pull the trigger._ He looked up and saw the same thought reflected in her eyes. Drawing her weapon had been a mistake, and it wasn’t the first.

They were both to blame for the near-catastrophe back at the abandoned house – she for her deception, he for the recklessness of his little test. She’d seen the footage, must’ve known that guns would be useless, so why had she bothered to hide one beneath the table? Did she think she could get a lucky shot in before the Other Guy took over? She never should have isolated him to begin with; the more civilians were nearby, the more likely he was to cooperate and avoid casualties. In thinking he’d risk innocent lives, she’d only endangered her own.

“And if it was triggered by stress?” she asked.

Bruce fidgeted, trying to focus on anything but that possibility. “It would depend on how hard I tried to fight it.”

“What if you didn’t?” she asked.

“You mean, if I wanted it to happen?”

“Yes.”

He clasped his hands in his lap and looked her directly in the eye. “Instantaneous.”

It didn’t hurt to tell her that much, but if S.H.I.E.L.D. knew just how easily he could summon the monster, Fury wouldn’t trust him to work on this project – if that was even what he’d really been recruited for. Despite what Bruce had said, Natasha had been careful not to lie, but he doubted Fury had led by example.

“What brings you back?” she asked.

A good question. Diffusion – or elimination – of the threat which triggered the change was probably a start, but beyond that was anyone’s guess. Truth be told, he didn’t have an answer – when he awoke, all he was left with were impressions of rage and fear, like fading dreams that slipped farther away the harder he tried to recall them.

 _No_ , he decided, _not dreams. Nightmares._

“I’m still figuring that part out,” he said.

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “Something tells me you don’t want to.”

“Neither does the Other Guy, but…” Bruce shook his head, and echoed her words back to her. “I’d rather not see it happen in the first place.”

“You really consider him a different person?” she asked.

“It’s not Dissociative Identity Disorder, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“I’m not. People with D.I.D. don’t change form.” Natasha crossed her arms, almost amused. “This is literal Jekyll and Hyde syndrome.”

“You know, you’re actually the first person to make that reference to my face,” Bruce said with a slight grin, though it shouldn’t have come as a surprise – he hadn’t spoken to anyone who knew about the Hulk in years. “But you’re wrong. I read that story. Jekyll was always the monster. Hyde was just a disguise.”

“And what are you?”

Bruce shrugged. “Still figuring out that part, too.”

“Do you think you’re a monster?”

“I hope not,” Bruce said. She glanced away, her interrogation over for the moment, but he had a few questions of his own. “What about you?”

Her gaze snapped up to him. “What?”

“You said you started when you were a child. The things they must’ve made you do—” he began, but the longer he talked, the colder her eyes grew. Not just fear, or anger. Regret. “I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re right,” she said. “I was a monster.”

“Before you joined S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Yes,” she said.

Bruce nodded. “And what are you now?”

She paused. Before she could answer, a muffled voice came over the comm. unit, and Natasha put it back in her ear.

“I copy,” she said, and looked to Bruce. “We’re approaching the jet, Doctor. We’ll be at S.H.I.E.L.D.’s air command in a few hours.”

The truck slowed to a stop. As the voices of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents neared and Natasha slid down the bench, about to open the door, Bruce touched her arm. There was something that needed to be said, and he had a feeling this was the last time they’d be alone.

“We all have a monster inside us, Natasha,” he said. “But if there’s one thing all this has taught me, it’s that it only wins if we stop fighting.”

The carefully-controlled fear in her eyes shifted into understanding, and even determination. She smiled.

“So we keep fighting,” she said.

Bruce nodded. “We keep fighting.”


End file.
